The WAGS are coming
What exactly is a WAG, and should Poland be afraid? If you've read anything about the England football team and their imminent arrival in Krakow, you've probably noticed that any mention of Wayne Rooney and co. is accompanied by references to the WAGs. Sometimes the chit chat about WAGs is considerably more prominent than any of that boring football nonsense.
WAG is not a revolutionary footballing technique set to cut through England's opposition in Euro 2012, it's an acronym for Wives And GirlfriendS – specifically the wives and girlfriends of England players. And why do we need an acronym for a group of women who only handle balls off the pitch? Because it allows the media to make Euro 2012 interesting for women in general, and not just football fans.
While the boys are absorbed by articles about what colour the official football will be, the ladies can follow the travelling soap opera that is the WAGs. The typical WAG is a young, unsophisticated girl suddenly propelled into a world of enormous wealth and fame. The opportunities and likelihood for them to get drunk and do crazy things in nightclubs are endless – and the media is there to make sure that don't miss a moment of it.
Coleen Rooney, wife of England's star player Wayne Rooney, is often described as a 'super WAG' because she epitomises the species. She is the daughter of a bricklayer and left school at the age of 16. Today, aged 26, she has a personal fortune of 8m pounds (42m złoty) and is married to a man who earns 17m pounds (90m złoty) every year. She likes shopping. The newspapers like to take photographs of her shopping and print them under headlines saying: "Coleen Goes Shopping AGAIN!" Consequently, she is one of the most famous women in the UK.
It has to be said that her meaningless fame is not her fault. Coleen and Wayne have known each other since they were 12, and went on their first date at the age of 16 when Wayne was just some kid who was quite good at football. Coleen is no gold digger or fame seeker. She's probably a perfectly nice, ordinary girl who just happens to have more money than Croesus. Like any 26-year-old woman, she's going to spend time in clothes shops. The only difference in her case is that she might just buy the shop.
British tabloid the Daily Star published a story last week about how the WAGs will enjoy Krakow. It begins "England's WAGs will be the real stars of Euro 2012, with Poles more excited about catching a glimpse of the babes than the players." I suspect that's not true, since most Poles have no idea what a WAG is, but it is interesting to speculate on what the wives and girlfriends will do in the royal city.
There are few opportunities for olympic-standard shoppers like the WAGs to practice their skills in Krakow. There is almost nowhere that a woman used to spending 50,000zł on a shopping trip could spend that kind of money, unless they find they really, really like oscypek and obwarzanki. I just hope I don't read and an interview with Caleen in which she tells us she bought: "a nice painting of a lady with a thin cat by some guy called Leonard Davini."
Jamie Stokes